The smartest thing I've heard in days, courtesy of Willie Nelson: "It's not pre-marital sex unless you get married." Well, that's a load off my mind.

It has gotten too hot and so I will have to suspend all of your visits for the rest of the summer. Yes, I know, you were all clamouring and fighting to come over and see me, but you will just have to be patient. My apartment is very warm and I don't think your delicate Northeastern bodies can handle it.

Over the past couple of days I have been asked if a) I know how to type, and b) if I would be interested in Management. To both these questions I answered honestly and resoundingly "No." It wasn't until later that I realised I was being considered for jobs. From now on my motto will be, "When someone asks you 'Are you a god? you say 'Yes!'"

Was anyone else wondering about the literal definition of "irony"? Here it is:

1. An expression or utterance marked by a deliberate contrast between apparent and intended meaning

2. Incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs.